By now, most of us have heard of or read about Facebook Addiction. An article on from Psychology Today, says Facebook can actually make us sad, knowing other people are happy when our lives simply can’t measure up to theirs. In a study done at the University of Athens School of Medicine, about Social Network Addiction, researches found “Facebook addiction can be considered as an “urge-driven disorder” with a strong compulsive component.”
We all know this to be true. I’m not on Facebook very often, but when I am I’m constantly aware of how I come across, what my timeline looks like to people, and still have a reaction if an old friend, or ex-boyfriend seems to be doing really well. It’s just a fact. I probably made four posts in the past four years and I don’t check it everyday. So, I’m pretty far removed from Facebook and I still feel it’s repercussions.
I’m curious if wedding sites can have these same effects. In an article in Elle called, A Fine Romance, author April Long says wedding sites left her feeling insufficient, unworthy and poor. “Looking at those sites–and trust me, once you start, it’s compulsive– I began to feel insecure, inadequate, impoverished and little bit betrayed.”
With the television shows, magazines and wedding sites it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Long writes, “I’d been warned that wedding planning would be stressful, yes, but I hadn’t been told the real reason why: That event, perhaps above all others, is presumed to be a summation of who you and your betrothed are as a couple–your aesthetics, your status, your fashion sense, your values, even your taste in music.”
I checked out theknot.com. I’m not even planning a wedding and I ended up spending an hour checking out potential venues…yikes. Long is right, it’s easy to get sucked in.
The bottom line is, everyone wants to have a nice wedding, the problem is, where to draw the line.
“But, it’s terribly tricky because a wedding is like a fantasy magnet. The fantasy may start with a single desire—to look beautiful or to marry in a spectacular church. Then, before you know it, you’re expecting every element and every person involved to conform to an astonishingly detailed blueprint called “My Wedding Day.” (From:Smartmarriages Sent: June 02, 2003 Subject: Putting Your Wedding on a Pedestal)
So, I guess it’s kind of like the Hunger Games. It’s a world where you are told you need these things to “stay alive”, for people to enjoy your wedding, to have them even envious of how unique, classy and memorable it was. You start to become so enthralled, you don’t even realize how deep in it you really are. In the end, it’s not about the wedding anymore it’s about the game and you aren’t just trying to stay afloat, you want to win.
And even when you do pull it off, after all the stress you put yourself through, it still has nothing to do with the marriage.