My name is Kari Laskowski. I am 31-years-old. I am not married. I have however been in a seven year relationship with my boyfriend, Mike.
Three years ago I received a phone call from a friend who told me she was getting married. To my surprise, the reaction in my voice did not match her excitement. I hung up the phone trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Why wasn’t I happy for my friend? Why instead was I feeling a deep pit in my stomach that left me ultimately feeling let down?
So I headed to the library and started reading anything and everything I could find that had to do with marriage. After many books on its history, I learned that everything started to go wrong when marriage went from a social-economic need to being based on Love. Yes, it is love that has destroyed this institution and we’ve dug ourselves so deep in love with love and with marriage, that we can’t seem to get ourselves straightened out.
I’m constantly talking about this topic with everyone I meet. And everyone has something to say. Perfect strangers have told me about their divorces (some have several, some wish they could have one), cheating husbands and bat shit crazy wives.
Were we already a little nuts before we got married? Were the cheaters already cheaters? Were the bat shit crazy wives already bat shit crazy (or just crazy and marriage added the “bat shit”)? Is it our marriage that ignite these fires of insanity within us? Are we just reacting to the action of marriage?