Elvis Rocks Around the Clock: 12/12/12

elvis rocks around the clock

Today, people from all over the world; England, Australia, Sweden, Canada, Brazil even Luxemburg and the Netherlands are flocking to Las Vegas to be able to say, they got married  on 12/12/12. According to an article from the New York Times, 80 of the town’s chapels are preparing for an expected high volume of weddings. The Marriage License Bureau is going from five to nine windows and has staff working overtime. Chapels and venues have so far booked up to 15 times the usual amount for a Wednesday.

Thus far, the record breaking triple digit wedding day has been 07/07/07. For the four days leading up to it, Vegas issued 4,333 licenses, followed by 10/10/10, with 3,090 and 11/11/11, with 3,342. For an average month the total is around 7,500.

The next triple date to occur is in 89 years: 01/01/2101.

Normally, my advice to people when they head to vegas is, “play the odds.” However, this seems irrelevant, so instead I’ll go with an oldie but goodie,        “may the force be with you.”

 

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Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor…

By now, most of us have heard of or read about Facebook Addiction. An article on from Psychology Today, says Facebook can actually make us sad, knowing other people are happy when our lives simply can’t measure up to theirs. In a study done at the University of Athens School of Medicine, about Social Network Addiction, researches found “Facebook addiction can be considered as an “urge-driven disorder” with a strong compulsive component.”

We all know this to be true. I’m not on Facebook very often, but when I am I’m constantly aware of how I come across, what my timeline looks like to people, and still have a reaction if an old friend, or ex-boyfriend seems to be doing really well. It’s just a fact. I probably made four posts in the past four years and I don’t check it everyday. So, I’m pretty far removed from Facebook and I still feel it’s repercussions.

I’m curious if wedding sites can have these same effects. In an article in Elle called, A Fine Romance, author April Long says wedding sites left her feeling insufficient, unworthy and poor. “Looking at those sites–and trust me, once you start, it’s compulsive– I began to feel insecure, inadequate, impoverished and little bit betrayed.”

…place settings, center pieces,flowers,invitations…

With the television shows, magazines and wedding sites it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Long writes, “I’d been warned that wedding planning would be stressful, yes, but I hadn’t been told the real reason why: That event, perhaps above all others, is presumed to be a summation of who you and your betrothed are as a couple–your aesthetics, your status, your fashion sense, your values, even your taste in music.”

I checked out theknot.com. I’m not even planning a wedding and I ended up spending an hour checking out potential venues…yikes. Long is right, it’s easy to get sucked in.

The bottom line is, everyone wants to have a nice wedding, the problem is, where to draw the line.

“But, it’s terribly tricky because a wedding is like a fantasy magnet. The fantasy may start with a single desire—to look beautiful or to marry in a spectacular church. Then, before you know it, you’re expecting every element and every person involved to conform to an astonishingly detailed blueprint called “My Wedding Day.”  (From:Smartmarriages Sent: June 02, 2003 Subject: Putting Your Wedding on a Pedestal)

So, I guess it’s kind of like the Hunger Games. It’s a world where you are told you need these things to “stay alive”, for people to enjoy your wedding, to have them even envious of how unique, classy and memorable it was. You start to become so enthralled, you don’t even realize how deep in it you really are. In the end, it’s not about the wedding anymore it’s about the game and you aren’t just trying to stay afloat, you want to win.

And even when you do pull it off, after all the stress you put yourself through, it still has nothing to do with the marriage.

A Not-So-Traditional Couple at a Traditional Wedding

We can never judge the lives of others, because each person know only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.~ Paulo Coelho

I recently went to a wedding in Selma, Alabama. There is always a different feel about marriage and family when you go to a small town. More specifically, a small southern town. The wedding felt like it came right out of the movie Sweet Home Alabama. Everyone was very friendly. The whole southern hospitality saying came alive. I went to the wedding with by boyfriend Mike, and our friend Adam. We arrived early the night before the Rehearsal Dinner. The bride’s family was hosting a cocktail party for the guests. When the three of us arrived we were the only guests in town on the groom’s side. Which means it was us three being entertained by the town of Selma. After the party, Adam, Mike and I were talking about all the different people we met. There were doctors, lawyers and people who have lived in Selma for generations. Adam and Mike were commenting on how many times they were asked what they did for a living. Not an extraordinary question, but a conversation I was left out of. I wondered why I hadn’t been asked what I did…a bit thankful at that, but nonetheless, people weren’t as interested.

I attribute this observation to two things:

1. I can have more interesting conversations with people than Mike and Adam. Therefore, know one had to resort to the old, “So, what do you do?”

2. Perhaps, because the south is very traditional, and it was clear Mike and I were an item, it wasn’t as necessary to know what I did for a living. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not claiming sexism (the bride is a well-educated, hard working dentist) all I’m saying is in a traditional setting it’s not as important for a woman to have a career. Perhaps, it was assumed that I would be having the children and quite possibly rearing them as well; while Mike would be bringing home the bacon.

This brings me to another observation. When we were at brunch with all of the guests, Mike and I met a women named Peggy. She was very sweet. She came right up to us and introduced herself. After she learned we were a couple, she asked if we were married. When I said, “no,” she quickly regretted asking me the question and apologized. I told her not to be sorry, and made a joke about Mike praying every night that I would marry him. She asked us how old we were. At the time, I was 30, and Mike was 34. She responded, “Well, that’s okay,” as a note of reassurance. I knew if I looked at Mike we would start laughing, so I avoided his eye contact (so as not to be rude to Peggy) and I heard Mike reply, “I think so too.” She then responded with, “You will at least get married before you have children, I hope.” We looked at each other, now with smirks on both of our faces, Mike asked me if I wanted children, I said, “I think so. Do you want children?” He said, “Yeah, I want kids.” He thought it would be appropriate to have the discussion, now that the subject was on the table…

We told Peggy it was nice to meet her and headed toward the rest of the guests. I’m not sharing our conversation to show how backwards I think she is or, more so, how backwards she must thing we are. However, it is interesting how people have certain ideals when it comes to marriage. It seemed as though it was such a way of life for Peggy to see a couple our age and assume they were married, that she felt apologetic when we said we weren’t. She looked at me when she said she was sorry- as though it must be Mike’s decision (or, maybe none of these things went through her head, and she apologized for being too intrusive). I didn’t mind the questions, it just seemed like I wasn’t getting the answers right.

Nonetheless, I liked Peggy. I appreciated her concern not just for my lifestyle choices, but also for the future of my bastard children. Bless her heart.

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